Do You Know Your EQ?
No, that’s not a typo. We’re not talking about your IQ. We know how smart you are. Let’s talk about your EQ – your emotional intelligence. In part three of the Power Panel series, we’re discussing EQ. (Here’s part one of the series, and here’s part two.)
The “Power Panel” is a panel of executive women in the retail space who spoke during a session on leadership at the Women in Retail Leadership Summit in Miami last month. Panelists included Miki Racine Berardelli, president, digital commerce and chief marketing officer at Chico’s; Gerri Elliott, director, Whirlpool, Bed Bath & Beyond, Charlotte Russe; Devon Pike, president, North America, Givenchy; and Alexandra Wilkis Wilson, co-founder and CEO, GLAMSQUAD.
During their session, the Power Panel shared personal experiences around five key leadership qualities that they believe are instrumental to their success. The five leadership qualities discussed were:
- leaders are expert communicators;
- leaders deal with failures gracefully;
- leaders have emotional intelligence;
- leaders are keen negotiators; and
- leaders pay it forward.
When it comes to emotional intelligence, or EQ, many of us are born with it, according to Wilson.
“I have two kids — my daughter is two and my son is five, and I know he has incredible EQ, and he’s had it since he was a baby, before he could speak,” Wilson said. “He can sense people. He knows if they’re happy or sad. And I think I have that as well.”
Wilson used her EQ to help sell Gilt Groupe to leading brands.
Wilson pounded the pavement trying to convince as many brands as possible to sell on Gilt, even though most of the brands she pitched to had no interest. However, by using her EQ, she was able to read people, give them what they wanted and thus sell her brand.
“If I were having a meeting with a CEO vs. a creative fashion designer vs. a junior person in PR vs. an account exec, I would use completely different arguments, as well as negotiate differently, use different body language, and even present my company differently,” Wilson said.
If Wilson were meeting with a company’s CFO, for example, she would discuss budgets. If she was meeting with a CMO, she would discuss branding and how Gilt could help drive traffic to its stores and/or website. And if she was meeting with a PR person, she would discuss celebrity endorsements or influencers.
“EQ is a big part of this,” Wilson said.
Pike also believes that some people are born with more EQ than others. While she believes everyone can learn EQ with practice, it can be hard to gauge whether it’s being used correctly — or even at all.
“When you’re trying to lead a team of diverse people, as a woman, it’s hard to figure out how close you need to get or how distant you need to be with people,” Pike said. “It’s a dance.”
Elliott fiercely believes EQ can be learned.
“Having emotional intelligence is being self-aware, people aware, and confident enough to know when you’re not being successful, and that, as a result, you need to do something differently,” Elliott said. “I absolutely believe [EQ] is something that you can learn.”
Berardelli spoke about being emotional in business. She told a story about how early in her senior executive career she attended a dinner to say goodbye to a man she reported to at Ralph Lauren. It was the first time she was invited to such a senior dinner, she said. During the dinner, people went around the table saying nice things about the senior executive, and when it was her turn, she got emotional, her voice shook and she began to tear up.
Berardelli left the dinner, beating herself up about the fact that she was so emotional. As she was walking to the train, another senior executive from the company called her and said: “I know what you’re doing right now; you’re beating yourself up for being emotional.”
When Berardelli asked her how she knew that, she said, “it happened to me, and then a very wise person said to me, ‘You don’t cry because you’re weak; you cry because you care,’” Berardelli said.
So now when these moments happen, “I don’t beat myself up about it,” Berardelli said. “It happens. Just move on. It is what it is. We’re human beings.”
Pike added that the other side of emotion is taking good care of yourself.
“Early in your career, it’s very easy to focus your entire self on your work so intensely that you ignore taking care of your [physical] health or your emotional health,” Pike said. “What’s been really accelerating for me is to later on in my career take some time to figure out what are the right things for me to nurture myself emotionally or physically and make sure my health is in good shape. Because, frankly, if you’re not inspired by what you’re doing, and if you’re not emotionally healthy, why would anyone follow you or want to go along your path.”
In part four of this series next week, I’ll report on the Power Panel’s thoughts on how to negotiate.
