As children in India, we were taught to remain quiet unless we were spoken to, to avoid interrupting others when they were speaking, and to ask permission or raise our hand in class before speaking. It was considered polite to wait until “everyone” had a chance to speak before sharing our own thoughts.

However, when I began working as a product manager in the corporate world, my manager gave me feedback that I needed to speak up more in meetings. Despite my ingrained habits of remaining quiet, I took this feedback to heart and tried to force myself to speak up more. This caused me a lot of stress and pressure to conform to a certain mold. Eventually, I realized that I needed to figure out my own working style and communicate this to my colleagues in order to create a comfortable and productive environment for everyone involved.

As I increased my reading and self-awareness, I came to recognize the pervasive bias towards extroversion as a prerequisite for effective leadership and success. Susan Cain’s book “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking” provided me with a starting point to explore this further. While developing my leadership approach, I discovered that my style was fluid and adaptable, depending on the needs of those I was leading, and that my focus was on creating an environment where people could be themselves. I realized that it was okay to take time to reflect and formulate my thoughts before responding, and that preparation before meetings and presentations was crucial for me to communicate effectively.

I also recognized that my preference for written communication was a valuable tool for better conveying my thoughts. While I didn’t always participate in social events, this did not mean I was any less engaged with my team, but rather that I needed time to recharge. The most effective way for me to lead was to communicate openly with those around me about my leadership style, as this allowed me to perform at my best and add the most value.

Being a leader is not solely about yourself, but rather about the people you lead. To effectively lead, it’s important to understand what kind of environment would be beneficial for each person on your team. While many focus on personalizing the customer experience, it’s just as important to personalize the experience for your team members.

This is where my creative thinking comes into play. Instead of taking a one-size-fits-all approach, I approach obstacles with a creative and personalized mindset, which has helped me achieve positive outcomes and learn from each situation. What used to stress me out before now motivates me to improve and grow as a leader.

As an Indian introverted woman, there are unique qualities that come with my identity, and I have learned to not just accept but embrace them. I have come to appreciate these qualities and use them as strengths to help me succeed. What I was once told were areas for improvement have now become my advantages. For example, I express my passion through my emotions, which does not make me weak, and I confidently speak up without raising my voice to make my point. I am not afraid to ask for what I deserve, and I don’t wait for opportunities to be handed to me. I am aware of my likes and dislikes and avoid tasks that make me uncomfortable and unproductive. To me, life is a continuous process of discovery, and I am glad that I followed my heart on this journey.

Here is an excerpt from my book I recently published called “Not the Loudest Person in the Room”:

Being Unapologetically You

Stop apologizing for the awesome person you are

For the power and passion, you bring to the table

For your prowess in making the right decisions,

And confidence that fills the room with awe.

 

They may say you are too aggressive,

Or confuse your certainty for arrogance

You are too emotional to do your job, they say,

But it’s your heart that adds the charm and makes everything

special.

 

Take a stance and demand what is yours

Stop listening to those who pull you down

Be aware of the biases you may face,

While educating those who are ignorant.

 

In the midst of all this constant battle, you be you

Don’t lose the facets that define the diamond in you

It’s easy to blend in the background and ride the wave,

But it’s time for us to stand out and show them who we are!