This is part one of a two-part series. Look for part two, and tips 7-13, in the July 12 issue of Inner Circle. 

To me, sitting down to enjoy a healthy, delicious meal is one of life’s sweetest pleasures. Just ask my family. They get a kick out of imitating me tilting my head back and releasing a guttural “mmmmmm” when I taste something I really like. It makes for great imitation material.

My relationship with food hasn’t always been a good one. There were many years that I used food to fill loneliness. From there, I developed a love/hate relationship with food. I loved it when it filled my void, but I hated it when the guilt and repulsion over what and how much I ate set in.

I also experienced years of feeling dissatisfied with my body shape. I tried time and again to reshape my figure by putting harsh restrictions on my intake, but the only real loss that took place was the enjoyment I had once experienced when I would eat.

Many women struggle with a similar love/hate relationship with food, either because they’re unhappy with their weight and eat according to some trendy diet guidelines rather than honoring your body’s needs, or because they turn to food when they’re emotionally triggered and are usually left with a guilt hangover.

Even though so many women experience this on some level, it’s not something we talk about with each other. Instead, we feel alone, even helpless, in our struggle. If this is you, I want to share the steps I took to rekindle my joy around eating so that you might feel more empowered to recreate your relationship with food. No, you don’t need to release the “mmmmmm” when you taste something delicious … unless you want to!

There was a day, years ago, when I remember wondering how two of my closest friends could feel so uncomfortable in their own skin when I could only their see beauty. Later that evening, I looked in the mirror and saw my reflection in a different light. Rather than pick out my flaws, I saw my body as a precious gift that I’d been given to fully experience my life. I realized that the better I treated my body, the healthier I would be on the inside, which would transcend outward into other areas of my life.

In that moment, I realized that it was my choice. I had the power to change because the only one responsible for feeding me was me. I could choose to continue my unhealthy eating patterns, or I could empower myself by learning how to eat in a way that would make me feel better both physically and emotionally. That’s when everything began to change.

Since that day, I’ve been committed to four things that have made a huge impact on my life:

  • I eat food that nourishes my body and nurtures my soul, removing any guilt, disappointment or disgust.
  • I listen to my body. I eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full, rather than using food to feed my emotions.
  • I understand the basic tenets of sound nutrition.
  • I keep myself aware of the latest research on the best way to maximize my metabolism.

I’ve incorporated these four elements into 13 easy-to-follow steps, each of which include tips on how to incorporate them into your life so you, too, can discover the pleasure, vitality and body confidence that comes when you have a love/joy relationship with food. 

1. Pause and check in before you eat.

Did you know that experts estimate that 75 percent of overeating is caused by emotions? It’s important to take a moment to do a quick check in with yourself before you eat. Ask yourself if you’re eating because you’re hungry, or because you’ve been emotionally triggered and are eating to numb, comfort, soothe, distract or release you from feelings other than hunger.

Tip: If you want to learn some constructive, effective tools for processing emotions rather than turning to food, I can help. You can reach me at pamela@wellroundedwellness.com.

2. Let go of the diet mentality.

When prescribed by a medical professional, a diet can be beneficial. But for the average person, a diet isn’t a feasible way of eating in the long term. Diets focus on restriction. It’s much more effective, not to mention freeing, to eat in a way that honors and supports your body, rather than eating to try to “fix” yourself.

Tip: Focus on replacing non-nutritious foods with nutrient-rich ones, rather than just eliminating them.

3. Eat mindfully vs. mindlessly.

Mindful eating is directly linked to food enjoyment and satisfaction. So many of us eat on the fly or while we multitask, but this kind of mindless eating leads to overconsumption and undersatisfaction. And when we feel unsatisfied, we often end up back in the kitchen looking for something else, even though our bodies don’t actually need more food.

Tip: With our busy lives, some multitasking is inevitable. But even when you’re multitasking, take a second to consciously shift your concentration from whatever you’re doing to your food. Really taste it. I promise this tip will increase your satisfaction and decrease the likelihood that you will go searching for more.

4. Have an open mind.

If we stereotype healthy food as bad-tasting and choke it down because we “have” to, not because we “want” to, our enjoyment will go out the window. That type of eating isn’t sustainable. Become mindful of your reaction to food. Just as we encourage children to try new things and be open-minded, so should we when it comes to adopting healthier eating habits.

Tip: There are endless amounts of amazing recipe books, videos and blogs available to you with nutrient-rich healthful recipes that will tantalize and satisfy your tastebuds! If you don’t like quinoa one way, try one of the other hundred ways to cook it. (Just ask my husband!)

5. Listen and trust your body.

If you listen, your body will tell you when it’s hungry and when it’s full. The problem is, we forget to listen. We’re often too distracted, and most of us have been programmed to eat at certain times and until our dinner plate is empty. The more we learn to tune into our body’s cues, the better we’ll be at keeping our bellies satisfied and our metabolisms efficient.

Tip: It takes 20 minutes for the signal from your belly to reach your brain to tell you you’re full. That means you should spend at least that long enjoying your meal. Try putting your fork down between bites and checking in to see how your belly feels, rather than just clearing your plate.

6. Be careful not to label foods as ‘good’ or ‘bad.’

If we eat a food that we label as bad, we project this onto ourselves. We’re being bad because we’re eating something bad. We’re also likely to try to restrict, or even deprive ourselves of those foods, which often backfires and leaves us wanting more.

Tip: Use words like nutritious, less-nutritious or non-nutritious foods. And rather than trying to eliminate less- or non-nutritious foods, try trusting your intuition and your body’s cues.