The best advice I ever received was advice not even meant for me.

I was teaching my undergraduate sales and marketing class at Boston University and had invited in a guest speaker. I always liked to bring in industry experts as they break up the monotony, share real-life experience, and usually distill excellent advice to those just beginning their careers.

I was listening in the back of the room when a student raised her hand and asked, “What do you do if you absolutely hate where you work and it’s not getting any better?”

I stopped multitasking and looked up immediately when I heard him say, “Make a change before it changes you.”

A total mic drop moment. And he didn’t even realize how much this comment resonated with me.

I was immediately transported back in time to a job where I was absolutely miserable. The position was my “dream job,” in a role I had aspired to my whole career, working for a “great company” doing what I love to do. I was also working for a maniacal boss who demanded ridiculous hours, had unrealistic expectations, and had created a totally toxic culture.

She would send texts at all hours of the day and night, text me during meetings, on calls (even when I was actually speaking). The average was about 25 texts per day. One particularly busy week, she made me take three roundtrip flights in five days so that I didn’t miss “her” portion of a meeting we were attending.

Needless to say, I was miserable, and it showed.

I wasn’t pleasant to be around, my family was noticing, my team at work wasn’t functioning well, and it was simply awful. I didn’t like who I was becoming and I felt completely trapped. I went from having one of the highest employee engagement scores in the company to both me and my team not wanting to show up for work.

I thought I could compartmentalize, but one day my son said to me, “What’s going on with you and this new job? I’ve never seen you so stressed, and you’re never in a good mood.” Ouch.

One particularly challenging day, I hung up from a frustrating call and I could take no more. I resigned that night and immediately felt like myself again. I mean, immediately. I didn’t throw a party and I didn’t call my friends and family to celebrate. It was a very difficult decision and I felt in some part like I had failed  —  but I know now that I wasn’t the one who had failed here. MY BOSS had failed. The COMPANY had failed me for allowing someone with those values to be a leader. My only regret is that I didn’t do it sooner, because let’s face it, when you know, you know.

The guest speaker could have answered that question any number of ways with what would appear to be solid advice:

  • Try to make things better.
  • Seek support from a mentor or human resources.
  • Transfer to another department.
  • Keep your head down, bide your time and ride it out.

No, no, no and NO.

With 4.5 million people handing in their resignations and 1.5 positions available for every job seeker, the time is now. You’re in the driver’s seat. You get to decide what’s best for you, and you deserve to show up for yourself.

I learned a very powerful lesson that day. The minute a company culture or boss starts to change you  —  you need to make a change.